My dear traffic companions,
I deeply apologize for daring to go straight through the intersection. From the lane that goes straight. Yes, you behind me, I realize that technically, I could have turned right on red. If I had wanted to turn right. Your impassioned hand gestures certainly demonstrated that possibility and my obligation to do so. But I failed you. I'm sorry.
And to you, too, driver in the oncoming left hand turn lane. I should have known that you would turn left directly in front of me as soon as the light turned green. After all, I was supposed to turn right, not go straight, as established above. Obviously, you had been communicating with the driver behind me and thought that his message had convinced me of my true path. I'm sorry if it was inconvenient to slam on the brakes inches before we met head on. I know it was for me and my children, I'm sure your cell phone was equally upset.
In the future, I will endeavor to more adequately indicate my intended route of travel. Until an "I'm not turning" signal can be designed, please assume that I will be going straight through the intersection of Garfield and 7th. From the straight lane.