Thursday, March 05, 2009

I'm Trying

I try to use this blog as a place to post photos and stories of my beautiful children. Frustrations with their growing pains and celebrations of their successes. My family reads these words, and many friends, some I've met in person, some I only know in the virtual world. I gain so much inspiration from all of them. I try to return the favor here with my little bits of knowledge, micro-bursts of creativity.

But, as I so dramatically mentioned in the last post, there are a lot of stresses in my world right now. And I'm not taking any photos, and not writing down those little successes; though I should, because they are happening. I'm trying really hard to keep upbeat. Here in this space, at home for my little kiddos, out and about in front of my friends. For me, keeping upbeat means keeping busy, and BOY HOWDY am I busy!

I know, I know, this is all totally maudlin. I know the symptoms and feelings of depression and I am exercising and keeping busy to keep that at bay. But I am tired. And I am worried. And sad.

  • I've had numerous meetings with teachers, directors, and principals. More to come.
  • I've heard rumors that the fantastic autism program we hope to enroll George in next year is losing it's funding. Not sure what our back-up plan will be.
  • Two of Emma's closest friends are moving (okay, okay, one is her boyfriend). I'm trying to help her through that.
  • Oh, and planning her two birthday parties.
  • After Spring Break, Jason's unit deploys. Three people from his office are leaving early, wanna guess who's in that advance group?

So, I'm tired. Dreaming of running away to a little cabin in the woods with a pile of books, multiple cartons of ice cream, and maybe a teddy bear. But that won't happen, so I think I'll get some emotions out of my system and have a good cry instead! Want to join me?

Let's watch Phenomenon or maybe Bridge to Terabithia.
Extreme Makeover Home Edition anyone?
This song is beautiful, haunting, and so very sad when contemplating spending the next holiday season without daddy.
And I know I've read many, many books that have made me cry, but I have to make a confession: These days, I'm pretty much only reading what I call "brain candy". Give me a good (or heck, it doesn't even have to be good) historical romance novel and I'm happy.

So that's it. I truly am trying to capture the good moments and get 'em gathered to put up here on this blog. Tomorrow is the culmination of Dr. Seuss week at the school, so we'll be going to a really fun Seuss-filled carnival in the evening. I can guarantee lots of great photos, and it will be a good break from the everyday.

Dr. Suess night, March '08

THEN? It's all birthday, all the time!! My girl turns EIGHT!!! Mass amounts of sugar will be consumed!! Wahoo!!!!


loonyhiker said...

I hope the stress lightens up for you. Hang in there! To brighten up your day, I just wanted you to know that we will be leaving in a couple of weeks to head your way. In fact, I have mentioned you so much that I think my hubby has planned for us to drive through your town (or very close to it anyway). I hope maybe we have a chance to meet (with your busy schedule, even if we could just have some coffee or soda), it would be great!

Liz McCoy said...

i've had a busy 2 months one thing that I SURVIVED off of was caffeine. OMG did I ever! Not that your situation is the same as mine. I'm thinking of you!!!!

Beth said...

It's ok to be depressed. And scared. And unsure.

In fact, you should be. Let yourself feel those emotions as well.

But you are strong and you will get through this and you know my number if you ever need to talk . . . about silly or serious stuff.

Mom said...

Mommys of all ages never stop wanting to soothe their children's (of all ages)hurts. This mommy is no exception.....

scrapgeek said...

Sounds like a lot going on. It must be so hard having to juggle all of this. If you haven't read it, this book is pretty good:

Hope things get on a more even keel soon.