Monday, May 26, 2008

Happy Memorial Day


BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

Enjoy your BBQ's today, remember to thank the helpers, and, most especially, remember those who earned this holiday for you.

Happy Memorial Day.

5 comments:

Beth Nixon said...

Oh. My. God.
Can't. Stop. Laughing.
Thanks for sharing!!
Have a great memorial day!

Stephani said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SO TRUE!
SO TRUE!
SO TRUE!
You should publish this! It totally ROCKS!

Dave said...

I commend you for your straightforward, factual presentation of the steps needed for optimal grilling. You have indeed described the perfect Memorial Day BBQ.

Wait, what?

scrapgeek said...

LOL - how true. Except the dishes part. I make him do that because I am mean. Have a great summer! I am missing warm weather already.

Reba said...

This is so great I have the perfect photos for this I hope I can scraplift this. I will credit you...
Reba your post rock!!!