Emma and I have had some ups & downs this year. Lots of struggles, trying to find a balance of needs between (or rather, encompassing) her and her brother. Other people tell me what a delightful, polite little girl she is and I look at them, thinking, "I don't know who you see, because at home a crazed, attitude filled monster takes over." And then she comes to me for a cuddle, or to share her excitement over her plants, or giggling about some silly joke. And I see that she's just a little girl. And that I'm expecting her to be more. More responsible, less childlike. How crazy is that?
She has the double pressure of being my oldest child and the older sister of a special needs brother. And here, in this picture, I see that. The other pictures I took this morning show her jumping up and down, totally thrilled about summer vacation. But this one speaks to me more. It shows her thoughtful side. The slightly insecure posture. The little girl on the brink of growing up out of childhood. It is my goal this summer to remember that she's still a child. A beautiful, talented, smart, silly, happy, loving child.
Who, as of 11:45 today, will be a second grader. Yikes.